I have so many complex thoughts about this movie that I didn't think I would have. Let's start with some baseline facts:
- this is the first all-Asian cast in a movie made for an American/Western audience in 25 years (since "Joy Luck Club")
- this is the first all-Asian cast modern movie put out by a major studio ever i.e. not an independent film
- this cast has an Asian-American leading lady and a Asian-Malaysian leading man
- the rest of the cast is made up of Asians who were born/raised in the UK, Australia, Korea, China, and other nations
Now for my thoughts:
I had no idea how much it would affect me emotionally to see a movie like this. I grew up watching shows/movies where the leads and the majority of the supporting cast were white. For as long as I can remember, whenever I played pretend, created stories with friends, daydreamed, even in my dreams at times, I was white. Whenever I visualized stories I read or were being read to me, the characters were white unless explicitly described otherwise. I didn't have any Asian characters in media that I related to. I looked up to Jean Grey from the cartoon version of X-men, DJ Tanner from Full House, Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell, Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chandler Bing from Friends, JD from Scrubs. All white. My childhood bedroom had magazine cutouts and posters covering the walls - all of white people. Mainly boybands, and then an entire corner dedicated to Jennifer Love Hewitt. It's taken me a while to figure out why I was initially drawn to JLH. She wasn't a great actress, she was a mediocre singer, but she had dark hair, was really friendly with an easy laugh (based off TV interviews), and her eyes disappeared when she smiled just like mine do. She was the teen icon that had the slightest hint of a physical semblance to me. She was still remarkably white.
Growing up, I always loved performing. My tomboy demeanor had me cast in the "general of the army" role every time there was such a role in the church kids musical. I was cast as "dad" in my Sunday school play. That was my shtick - to be something comedic because it was easier to accept than being the "Asian girl". I thought Buffy Summers was the coolest character because she kicked ass and she was pretty and vulnerable and I so wished I could be like her, but I could never imagine an Asian-American vampire slayer, let alone myself in a similar role. Every Saturday paper, I would read through the Classified ads under the movies/entertainment section and look at talent agents or casting call ads. I'd make note of the number but never got the guts to call because there was always that voice in the back of my head that said "You're not what they're looking for. Don't waste everyone's time." There was a time after I finished undergrad and started working at BackCheck that I considered going into acting because I saw my headshot from my grad pics and thought that was half the battle, and then I chickened out again for the same reasons and kept working and then went into med school.
I've watched interviews with multiple cast members from Crazy Rich Asians. A significant number of them were in university or finished their professional degrees but always wanted to be an actor and most of those who pursued that dream went into comedy because that was the easiest route. To stimulate laughter, which often meant being the focus of that laughter. It was very familiar. Self-deprecating humour is my specialty. We all grew up thinking we could never be ourselves and be the lead in a show. We had to be the punch line, the techie, the trekkie, the nerd, band geek - never the cheerleader, the jock, the prom queen or king.
When I heard they were going to do a live-action Mulan, I looked at the casting call. Keep in mind, this was less than 2 years ago. The only reason I didn't audition was because they were looking for someone who could speak Mandarin. You see, the one time I thought Hollywood was actually looking for someone like me, an Asian-Canadian, they were actually looking for an Asian-Asian. That stung. Years of waiting, and they still didn't want someone like me.
When I first saw the trailer for Crazy Rich Asians, I knew I had to see it. I knew it would be a Rom-Com and that's typically not my vibe, but it would be full of people like me. But when it came to opening weekend, I had no idea who to ask to see it with. I asked my aunt at first, but she was going away for the weekend and had already caught an earlier showing. I considered asking Deen because we see movies together, but I didn't want to make her watch a movie she might not like because I thought she wouldn't want to see a movie with a bunch of Asians in it. It doesn't make any sense, but that's literally what I thought. It was my reflex that all my friends would only want to watch predominantly white movies because that's the media we're accustomed to. I considered watching the movie by myself but really wanted to support the movie with more numbers. I asked my parents if they were going to see it, and they didn't seem interested much to my disappointment. Finally, it hit me, "I'll ask Yan!" Yan - my transgender friend. Yan and I hang out often and we see movies together, most notably, social commentary movies like "Get Out", "Black Panther", "Beauty and the Beast" (because we were fans of the original, but also because we knew there was a gay side-plot and wanted to see how Disney handled it). I literally had to turn to my LGBTQ+ community friend in order to feel comfortable asking someone to see a Rom-Com with an all-Asian cast. THAT IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!! And yet, that's exactly how I felt. In my mind, to ask any of my other friends would be asking a huge favour and inconveniencing them. That's what being raised on media with dismal Asian representation did to me. I guarantee you, if this movie had come out when I was a child, I would have been able to easily picture myself as the next vampire slayer, the pretty, complex, vulnerable protagonist. I wouldn't have hesitated to find an agent and audition.
Now I feel like I've missed out. I'm less than a year away from being a fully licensed family physician. I'll be leaving Vancouver to practice in a rural community for at least 2 years. And yet, now there's a new thought lingering - Ken Jeong was an Ob-Gyn and he's a successful actor. Representation - holy shit, I had no idea it would blow my mind so much.
FYI - Crazy Rich Asians is actually a well done Rom-Com. It could have had an all-white cast and it would have still been good. When Yan and I saw it, we were laughing out loud with the rest of the theatre multiple times. I knew I needed to see it again and I knew I wanted my parents to see it - regardless of whether they cared about the social impact or not. We didn't grow up watching Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan films though eventually my brothers and I would see them on TV by luck and we loved them. Bruce Lee wasn't important in our house hold. James Bond was. I've seen every Bond film largely because of my parents. Maybe it was on purpose because why expose your children to a cliche - an Asian doing martial arts - when you can show them a white spy with gadgets and a magical ability to not get a single sexually transmitted infection despite being incredibly promiscuous.
I needed Crazy Rich Asians about 25 years ago and that's the sentiment that a lot of my Asian friends from school share. We needed this. We're thankful for having it now, but my god, we needed it when we were in high school. None of us felt pretty. We weren't white. We weren't important enough to be in the magazines our friends read or the shows they watched. We worked hard at what we do to show our worth and that's why we are doctors, lawyers, engineers and other high-paying specialized jobs. But man, we revel when one of us "makes it" in the entertainment world. I think of Mijune Pak. She was a sweetheart in high school and to see her career flourish from local foodie to Top Chef Canada judge has been so cool. For the most part, us Asians have been told/trained that we have no place in mainstream media and we accepted it, and pushed down those passions and focused on "respectable careers". But so many of us have regrets and we finally found some relief in seeing this movie and the success it's had so far. For some of us, we'll get the courage to either try pursuing entertainment again or for the first time. For others, we'll encouraged our kids to go for it because it's possible now. The overall sentiment is that this movie is long overdue, but we're so thankful it's here now than not at all.
